THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 18, 2010

When I was at work today Cynthia texted me that Carol not only didn't want to go visit Tom, but she didn't want to take her medicine and didn't want lunch. Cynthia said that Carol's stomach was growling so she insisted Carol eat, but instead Carol tried to get her to leave. I suggested putting the McDonalds burger on a real plate instead of keeping it wrapped up, which she tried, but Carol took this time to go take a nap.

She's been acting strange all week and over obsessing about her keys which she (or I) will find, then she will hide from herself, then spend the entire next day looking for. This week she's gone over to Dona and Bill's at least twice to get assistance with getting her a new set. So, when I came home from work, I was not surprised when she greeted me crying because her keys were missing. I went through my usual explanation that it wasn't a huge deal, and that worrying incessantly about one material object would drive anyone nuts. That she needed to take care of herself, first and foremost. This led to me asking her what she had eaten today. She said she had eaten things here and there (mentioned a peanut butter sandwich), but that she didn't feel like eating because Tom was so sick. Something in me kind of snapped there. "Carol, Tom's fine. He's doing great, eating well, handling things better. YOU aren't doing well. You need to take care of yourself!" "I know. I know, but my keys..." "Alright," I interjected, "You've spent enough time worrying about your keys for today and not enough time eating a real meal." I threw the hamburger and fries Cynthia brought for her into the microwave and set a place for her. "How about you sit here and have dinner, and I'm going to try to find your keys, OK?" "But, you just got home, don't you need to eat dinner?" "I assure you I've eaten enough food for two."

I get half way through pulling everything out of the first shelf in her closet when she comes in and starts mumbling about how she might not have checked her purse. "Carol, did you finish your dinner?" "No, but I'm getting full. I just want to check my purse." "If you aren't going to take care of yourself, then I can't help you with your keys." I say walking to the kitchen. She follows and I stand there as she sits, then head back to her room. The rest of that shelf and another half of a shelf gets torn apart and put back together before she comes in again. Same mumbling, same response, another walk to the kitchen, and I'm back to work. A couple more times of this and finally we reach a compromise with her sitting in the bathroom eating her burger (and explaining how HORRIBLE it is to keep losing her keys), while I look. I get through the closet with no luck, but did find the garage opener hidden in a shopping bag, two lighters and 2 packs of cigarettes.

I try to decide where to start next, laundry/hallway or bedroom? Carol tells me it's ridiculous that she always loses her keys because she usually puts them in her shoes where she can find them. "That's the ridiculous part?" "Well, not in the open toes shoes."

I look through the piles and piles of mail on her bedroom desk with no luck, but did find the cool bracelets my mom got us. The back of her pendant has her specific number with Medic Alert, and says something about how she has a mental condition (I can't remember exactly how it's phrased). The back of my pendant says I'm a caregiver for, and her specific number. She kept looking at the back of hers and asking me what mine says because hers says something about her mental health. I just say mine has our address on it. We will see if she keeps it on. The clasp on it is pretty tricky, but they're really loose on our wrists. We might have to get them tightened.

Finally I find her original keys (with the electronic lock/unlock thingy) in a drawer with a bunch of old scrunchies. She wanted to hold them, but then went to slip them in her shorts pocket. "Carol, let me hold on to those until we find a better way to not lose them." "Yea, who knows how long that will be." "I promise you it will be a lot less long then the time it took us to find them today." "But, don't you work tomorrow? What if I need to go somewhere?" "Well, tomorrow is Friday so I'll probably get off work early, then we can go wherever you like. My vote is for tiramisu!"

Votes on what I should connect her keys to? Carol's idea was to get a peg board up next to the door we could both hang our keys on... We need a better idea than that. I think it was suggested I connect it to a big piece of wood, middle school style.