I barely spoke to the grandparents this morning. I made some breakfast and ran out the door to do volunteer training at the Humane Society. I thought it was going to only be an hour session, but four hours later I'm sitting at Petco selling kittens and dogs to the families of Port Saint Lucie. I'm aparently not pound material like the hooligans volunteering to work off DUI's, so I was already promoted! Now if I can get them to PAY me.
When I got home we had some snacks and I double checked whether they took their medicine like the calendar indicated they did. Carol took her meds, but had no patch on at all...? and when I gave Grandpa his medicine he set it on the coffee table. When I came back to make sure he took them, I saw that he had hid the shot glass of pills almost behind the microwave. I brought them to his room and he declared he wasn't taking them. "I love you so much I want to keep you healthy." "I'm not taking them." "What? You need me to get you some water?," I yelled over the T.V. When I get back he takes the pills and throws the shot glass at my feet. I hand him water and he says, "Thank you."
Carol and I go to the grocery store (Walmart) where she piles in cookies and 5% juice boxes as I frantically try to get vegtables, protein and fruit in the basket. The trip is a success because I convince her we should get non-fat raspberry sorbet as our second ice cream of choice. Carol really is such a great person. When we go to Walmart, she stops and talks to the greeter, asking them about their day. She gives the right away to the sullen teenager who didn't even notice anyway. Lets the lady in the motor-cart go first in line and offers to unload her basket for her. She follows it all up by telling the cashier that her hair is "perfectly bouncy." Maybe all my low-fat nonsense is what is making me less sweet.
Dinner was fine except Grandpa was a little snappy--"Grandpa, that pot roast is already really salty if you taste it." "Don't worry about it." [Silence] "I though it was supposed to rain today but it stayed perfectly sunny all day." "It was hotter then hell today." [silence]. But, as soon as my cat walked in his mood completely changed. MauMau this and pretty kitty that.
After dessert we retired to our seperate bedrooms, but I've been hearing someone roaming in the kitchen about every half hour. When I went out to get some water a few seconds ago I noticed that a good amount of the ice cream and cookies were gone.
To sum up--
Daily sanity level of house: 7 (out of 10)--It would be an 8, but my friends keep sending me text about how much fun they are having and "thinking of you". I'm watching every episode of Nip/Tuck on a Saturday night.
Erika's daily activity away from house: Play with puppies and kittens!
Daily lesson: Really make sure Grandpa took his meds
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Friday, July 30, 2010
FRIDAY, JULY 30, 2010
From how Carol was acting today, it appears that she didn't put a new patch on yesterday.
A lady came this morning and--according to Grandpa--"sat around and looked at us for awhile. She comes every couple of months. Hefer of a woman."...? I didn't see her because she came at 8am and didn't stay for very long.
After breakfast Carol started making a grocery list. I told her I rather go tomorrow since we have enough to last us through a couple days. She says ok, walks away only to come back and start taking inventory of the fridge again several times. Then she comes into my room asking if I said yes or no to going to the post office. I told her we went a couple times this week and that she hadn't asked me today. "What do you need?" "They have some mail for me there." Thinking it was probobly the package of her keys, I agree. "Now where is that grocery list?" She digs in her pockets and pulls it out. "I thought we were waiting on the groceries and are going to the post office." "Oh, that's right." She goes to tell Grandpa where we are going and comes back and starts going through her pockets. "What are you looking for?" "I can't find that list, do you have it?" It's in your pocket. Here, let me put it in my wallet for safe keeping for tomorrow. Right now we are going to the post office."
At the post office we tell the guy our address and that he has mail for us. When he get's back he says he can't find it. Can we clarify the address? When he goes Carol starts telling me how she has the post office hold all their mail because people go through her mailbox, but we get mail in that mailbox everyday. The guy comes back and says that he doesn't have a record of us having them hold our mail. On the way home Carol asks if we should stop at the grocery store while we are out.
Soon after we get home Carol comes into my room and sits on my bed to hang out for a bit. Grandpa is aparently on again about her keys. I check with Bill that they are on the way and let her know. I go and remind Grandpa that Bill is sending down the spare keys through the mail (not in person). Later he starts in on her and I say Bill is sending them again. "Oh, that's right," he says, and promptly drops the issue for the rest of the day.
Later Carol comes up to me crying because the city utilities are charging her over $100. It's usually about $30. Why with three people is it so much more? I suddenly panic over every shower I took since I've been here until I open the letter and see that it was from 3 unpaid months plus a late fee. "I paid with my Visa. This is just HORRIBLE." I call the office to see when the last payment was and whether it was with a card or a check. They have no record of the bill being paid since February (my mother says it is the elusive bill that hasn't been able to be sent to Minnesota). I explain to Carol that it isn't the end of the world. We will just send the bill in today and at least they havn't turned off our water! "but, why is the bill so high?" "It's more than one bill," I say again, "Here, do you have a stamp. I'll run it to the post right now." "This is just HORRIBLE. Let's do this quick before Grandpa comes in and starts yelling at me about it." A few more times of explaining that it will be ok and why it's so high, and I'm out the door. I get back from the post office (they missed me from this morning) in about 15 minutes. "Why did you have to go to the bank again?" She asks. "I wasn't at the bank." "Oh, that's right, you were at Cynthia's."
I start to work on dinner of Chicken Helper which should be unremarkable except Carol turns off the oven while it's cooking. She explains, "I must have forgotten to turn it off after dinner." Once it's finally cooked, Grandpa doesn't think it's unremarkable and keeps praising my cooking. "The best chow mein I've ever had. I'm serious. You made this?" "I love you," I say, and can't remember having ever said that to him in my adult life. He laughs and says, "well, alright."
To sum up--
Daily sanity level of house: 5 (out of 10)--weirdly Grandpa raises the average today, even from me.
Erika's daily activity away from house: Movie
Daily lesson: Really make sure Carol is wearing her patch.
A lady came this morning and--according to Grandpa--"sat around and looked at us for awhile. She comes every couple of months. Hefer of a woman."...? I didn't see her because she came at 8am and didn't stay for very long.
After breakfast Carol started making a grocery list. I told her I rather go tomorrow since we have enough to last us through a couple days. She says ok, walks away only to come back and start taking inventory of the fridge again several times. Then she comes into my room asking if I said yes or no to going to the post office. I told her we went a couple times this week and that she hadn't asked me today. "What do you need?" "They have some mail for me there." Thinking it was probobly the package of her keys, I agree. "Now where is that grocery list?" She digs in her pockets and pulls it out. "I thought we were waiting on the groceries and are going to the post office." "Oh, that's right." She goes to tell Grandpa where we are going and comes back and starts going through her pockets. "What are you looking for?" "I can't find that list, do you have it?" It's in your pocket. Here, let me put it in my wallet for safe keeping for tomorrow. Right now we are going to the post office."
At the post office we tell the guy our address and that he has mail for us. When he get's back he says he can't find it. Can we clarify the address? When he goes Carol starts telling me how she has the post office hold all their mail because people go through her mailbox, but we get mail in that mailbox everyday. The guy comes back and says that he doesn't have a record of us having them hold our mail. On the way home Carol asks if we should stop at the grocery store while we are out.
Soon after we get home Carol comes into my room and sits on my bed to hang out for a bit. Grandpa is aparently on again about her keys. I check with Bill that they are on the way and let her know. I go and remind Grandpa that Bill is sending down the spare keys through the mail (not in person). Later he starts in on her and I say Bill is sending them again. "Oh, that's right," he says, and promptly drops the issue for the rest of the day.
Later Carol comes up to me crying because the city utilities are charging her over $100. It's usually about $30. Why with three people is it so much more? I suddenly panic over every shower I took since I've been here until I open the letter and see that it was from 3 unpaid months plus a late fee. "I paid with my Visa. This is just HORRIBLE." I call the office to see when the last payment was and whether it was with a card or a check. They have no record of the bill being paid since February (my mother says it is the elusive bill that hasn't been able to be sent to Minnesota). I explain to Carol that it isn't the end of the world. We will just send the bill in today and at least they havn't turned off our water! "but, why is the bill so high?" "It's more than one bill," I say again, "Here, do you have a stamp. I'll run it to the post right now." "This is just HORRIBLE. Let's do this quick before Grandpa comes in and starts yelling at me about it." A few more times of explaining that it will be ok and why it's so high, and I'm out the door. I get back from the post office (they missed me from this morning) in about 15 minutes. "Why did you have to go to the bank again?" She asks. "I wasn't at the bank." "Oh, that's right, you were at Cynthia's."
I start to work on dinner of Chicken Helper which should be unremarkable except Carol turns off the oven while it's cooking. She explains, "I must have forgotten to turn it off after dinner." Once it's finally cooked, Grandpa doesn't think it's unremarkable and keeps praising my cooking. "The best chow mein I've ever had. I'm serious. You made this?" "I love you," I say, and can't remember having ever said that to him in my adult life. He laughs and says, "well, alright."
To sum up--
Daily sanity level of house: 5 (out of 10)--weirdly Grandpa raises the average today, even from me.
Erika's daily activity away from house: Movie
Daily lesson: Really make sure Carol is wearing her patch.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
THURSDAY, JULY 29, 2010
This morning (as agreed by all parties) the tree guys came and started to work on the palms outside. We had finished breakfast and Grandpa had gone to his room to watch T.V. per usual. I came in to let him know that they were out there. "Who's out there?" "The guys you asked to come back today to do the trees." So he went outside to negotiate a price with absolutely no idea he had already made an agreement. The tree guys, half way through the project look at me. I try to explain it to him and tell the guys to finish the trees. Carol makes it very clear she doesn't want to be involved in it, but sure enough Grandpa walks into the kitchen and opens with, "Carol, do you know anything about these guys in the yard. They want $100. I don't know if I wanna pay it." Carol looks at me, mumbles something and sneaks off to her room. I explained that he had made a deal with them yesterday to come back this morning and that he would pay them that much. He thinks this is bullshit. He isn't sure if he has enough money and he goes to ask Carol whether she thinks they should pay that much. I follow them to their room and quietly ask if he needs some extra cash to cover it. He replies with a sharp, "Shut Up." Carol runs away to the far back yard to hide. I keep calm and set $40 next to him. Then we sit for around 20 minutes in the kitchen, him nervously counting the 5 twenty dollar bills and murmuring how it's bullshit and how he was half asleep when it was all thrust upon him. Then I get a phone call from the people I interviewed with on Monday asking if I can come in today to do a follow up. Maybe in an hour? No. 2 hours? I guess.
When I come out of my room and into the front yard, Grandpa and the lawn guy are shouting at each other. The guy sees me and instantly starts talking to me. "He's telling us to pick up all this stuff in the yard that isn't even our stuff. That bunch of trash over there isn't even our stuff, ya see? If he asked us nicely we would, but it's not part of the deal and he's just demanding it." Ask Nicely, huh? My Grandpa?
So I ask nicely and even plead with them as Grandpa continues to shout out orders until every branch in the entire yard is picked up and I've handed off the money from Grandpa to the guy. "Alright, Grandpa. Let's go in and cool down." "Did you give them extra money." "Didn't anyone ever tell you that you can catch more flies with honey?"
I was distant towards Grandpa as I set out lunch (although not nearly as distant as Carol who was as elusive as their cat, who I still haven't seen). Grandpa picked up on this and asked me if I was upset over something. I tried to explain that a Grandfather shouldn't yell at his Granddaughter to shut up when she was simply offering to help. I explained that I didn't mind lending him money because I understood he was stressed, but he doesn't need to stress everyone else out or ever talk to me that way. He looks like I'm an alien and asks how much he owes me. I say $40, but that I was more concerned with the respect issue. He reaches into his pocket and gives me $40. Why do I even bother?
Twenty minutes before I'm supposed to leave for my interview, Grandpa asks me if I can drive him to the bank to get more money. I'm so shocked that he asked, I don't even mind that I have to do my hair in the car. As for Carol, when I bring out her medicine she brings it back into her room and says she doesn't need help today (I check later and her pills are gone, but I can't tell with her shirt if she put on her patch so we will see. What does it even do?).
I get back from my interview and am in such high spirits from it, I can't even be upset with Grandpa. We sit in the kitchen, me on my computer, him telling me what's in the paper. After dinner he steps on the scale to see his weight. I look down at it and see he weighs 140 lbs. This is dangerously close to my weight so I step on it too. I'm 130 and I'm suddenly overcome with the need to feed him some more Hamburger Helper. "I can't believe we are that close in weight!" I say. He replies, "Why, look at your thighs and then look at mine." He points at my legs and then lifts up his shorts in emphasis. Suddenly I hate him again.
To sum up--
Daily sanity level of house: 4 (out of 10)
Erika's daily activity away from house: Follow up interview
Daily lesson: Squats for me. Hamburger Helper for him.
When I come out of my room and into the front yard, Grandpa and the lawn guy are shouting at each other. The guy sees me and instantly starts talking to me. "He's telling us to pick up all this stuff in the yard that isn't even our stuff. That bunch of trash over there isn't even our stuff, ya see? If he asked us nicely we would, but it's not part of the deal and he's just demanding it." Ask Nicely, huh? My Grandpa?
So I ask nicely and even plead with them as Grandpa continues to shout out orders until every branch in the entire yard is picked up and I've handed off the money from Grandpa to the guy. "Alright, Grandpa. Let's go in and cool down." "Did you give them extra money." "Didn't anyone ever tell you that you can catch more flies with honey?"
I was distant towards Grandpa as I set out lunch (although not nearly as distant as Carol who was as elusive as their cat, who I still haven't seen). Grandpa picked up on this and asked me if I was upset over something. I tried to explain that a Grandfather shouldn't yell at his Granddaughter to shut up when she was simply offering to help. I explained that I didn't mind lending him money because I understood he was stressed, but he doesn't need to stress everyone else out or ever talk to me that way. He looks like I'm an alien and asks how much he owes me. I say $40, but that I was more concerned with the respect issue. He reaches into his pocket and gives me $40. Why do I even bother?
Twenty minutes before I'm supposed to leave for my interview, Grandpa asks me if I can drive him to the bank to get more money. I'm so shocked that he asked, I don't even mind that I have to do my hair in the car. As for Carol, when I bring out her medicine she brings it back into her room and says she doesn't need help today (I check later and her pills are gone, but I can't tell with her shirt if she put on her patch so we will see. What does it even do?).
I get back from my interview and am in such high spirits from it, I can't even be upset with Grandpa. We sit in the kitchen, me on my computer, him telling me what's in the paper. After dinner he steps on the scale to see his weight. I look down at it and see he weighs 140 lbs. This is dangerously close to my weight so I step on it too. I'm 130 and I'm suddenly overcome with the need to feed him some more Hamburger Helper. "I can't believe we are that close in weight!" I say. He replies, "Why, look at your thighs and then look at mine." He points at my legs and then lifts up his shorts in emphasis. Suddenly I hate him again.
To sum up--
Daily sanity level of house: 4 (out of 10)
Erika's daily activity away from house: Follow up interview
Daily lesson: Squats for me. Hamburger Helper for him.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
WEDNESDAY, JULY 28, 2010
This morning Grandpa woke up with Carol's car on his mind. Maybe we should start it up and make sure the engine is running? This is a problem because she lost her keys awhile ago. This left the wonderful activity of continuously getting mad at Carol all morning and well into the afternoon. I help her look for them but soon she is in tears and I ask her if I should call Bill and see if he is planning on sending her keys. Is this now a high priority? It is, so I give him a call and he lets me know he will try to get some sent to us soon. This calms Carol immensely (thank you again Bill), but Grandpa is still upset after I explain it. After awhile I find him in the garage looking for his keys. "Aren't they in your pocket?" "No, those aren't the right ones," then, "Yes, well I guess they are." This starts him in on his driver's license. "She done this about 3 times now and forgets where she left them." And now I have no idea what we're talking about.
After I go to the beach I take a shower and I come out in an over sized shirt that Grandpa doesn't understand. "What are you wearing?" He starts laughing. "Is that uncomfortable? I would be uncomfortable." This conversation continues over and over again for about 20 minutes until I storm off into my room. In the kitchen I can hear Grandpa say, "hey, do you know where my license is?" and so it begins again until I hear silence for a good hour. Then Bill texts me to let me know that Grandpa just called to see where he was in his journey down.
By the time I set dinner on the table Grandpa refuses to come. "I'm not hungry." he says, even though when I started he was. He only breaks away from the T.V. when the tree guys he told to come back this week come to the door. "What trees? The front four? What Price? 25$ for each tree plus $20 for hauling it to the dump? Well we wont pay that much, how about $100. Was I asking you, Erika? What trees? Well it's two late to be doing them now (almost 7pm). Why don't you come back tomorrow morning? What price? Well that's a little steep.....[10 minutes later]...Now what trees were you thinking? Stay out of it Erika!" Finally I interject enough to tell them to come back tomorrow morning. That we both will be here and my Grandpa will pay you $100 (...and you'll get the money you're asking [quietly and meaningfully]) and we'll get these trees cleaned up! We go inside and Grandpa says he's going to pay them $100. "And you're not going to pay them anything, right Punky?" "Right." "She's lying to me." Grandpa rolls his eyes and goes to his room and I tell Carol what's going on. Her response? "All this is enough to drive a mother (?) to drink."
To sum up--
Daily sanity level of house: 4 (out of 10)
Erika's daily activity away from house: The beach
Daily lesson: Just. Stay. At. The. Beach.
After I go to the beach I take a shower and I come out in an over sized shirt that Grandpa doesn't understand. "What are you wearing?" He starts laughing. "Is that uncomfortable? I would be uncomfortable." This conversation continues over and over again for about 20 minutes until I storm off into my room. In the kitchen I can hear Grandpa say, "hey, do you know where my license is?" and so it begins again until I hear silence for a good hour. Then Bill texts me to let me know that Grandpa just called to see where he was in his journey down.
By the time I set dinner on the table Grandpa refuses to come. "I'm not hungry." he says, even though when I started he was. He only breaks away from the T.V. when the tree guys he told to come back this week come to the door. "What trees? The front four? What Price? 25$ for each tree plus $20 for hauling it to the dump? Well we wont pay that much, how about $100. Was I asking you, Erika? What trees? Well it's two late to be doing them now (almost 7pm). Why don't you come back tomorrow morning? What price? Well that's a little steep.....[10 minutes later]...Now what trees were you thinking? Stay out of it Erika!" Finally I interject enough to tell them to come back tomorrow morning. That we both will be here and my Grandpa will pay you $100 (...and you'll get the money you're asking [quietly and meaningfully]) and we'll get these trees cleaned up! We go inside and Grandpa says he's going to pay them $100. "And you're not going to pay them anything, right Punky?" "Right." "She's lying to me." Grandpa rolls his eyes and goes to his room and I tell Carol what's going on. Her response? "All this is enough to drive a mother (?) to drink."
To sum up--
Daily sanity level of house: 4 (out of 10)
Erika's daily activity away from house: The beach
Daily lesson: Just. Stay. At. The. Beach.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
TUESDAY, JULY 27, 2010
Breakfast was the only pleasant conversation I had with Grandpa today. At around 11 I must have turned from Granddaughter to... I'm still not sure, potential money thief? intruder? Carol wanted to go to the Post Office, and I had a letter to send so I agreed to drive her. While I was waiting for her to get everything she needed together, I decided to fill in the check list for August on their calendar. When Grandpa comes in he wants to know what I'm doing. 'She's helping me do our calendar," says Carol. "Why? It's none of your business," Grandpa snaps at me and puts it back next to the microwave. "Oooook." It becomes clear that Grandpa wants to go to the bank with Carol. It also becomes clear that I'm no longer a part of the picture when he says, "you'll stay here, Punky." "No," I begin calmly, "I need to go to the post office." "Fine," he says, and then a few beats later, "something doesn't smell right". Carol and I exchange confused glances. He says we are going to take "the Ford" I say that's fine and usher Carol towards my Ford Focus before he can get to his car. I ask Grandpa if everything is OK because he seems a little stressed. Is there anything I can do to make him feel better? "You can let me alone."
At the bank I'm not allowed in the actual bank, so I play Blockus in the entry way for about twenty minutes. The rest of our errands are spent with Grandpa wondering what that sound is (the beeping that goes off when the passenger seated person isn't wearing their seat belt) and wondering how long I'm staying here. "Did you ask if you could stay here?" "Yes, and you said I could stay as long as I wanted." "OK, well, whatever." When we get home I go to my room to spend ten minutes in silence. When I come out Grandpa and his car are gone. When he comes back he doesn't leave his room when I'm home.
After I help Carol with figuring out dinner I headed over to Cynthia's house where I was graciously invited. She has two beautiful girls (3 and 1) who are VERY outgoing. After a delicious dinner we went outside to do sidewalk chalk, which was more like her 3 year old daughter handing me and Cynthia chalk and asking us to draw things--"Draw a dolphin. Draw Spongebob. Draw Patrick the size of me!". I was very happy to oblige when the demands were things like coming over to dinner and drawing cartoons. Much better then someone demanding me to go home, stay home or let alone.
To sum up--
Daily sanity level of house: 5 (out of 10)
Erika's daily activity away from house: Dinner at Cynthia's
Daily lesson: Bring a book on errands in case you have down time in a lobby
At the bank I'm not allowed in the actual bank, so I play Blockus in the entry way for about twenty minutes. The rest of our errands are spent with Grandpa wondering what that sound is (the beeping that goes off when the passenger seated person isn't wearing their seat belt) and wondering how long I'm staying here. "Did you ask if you could stay here?" "Yes, and you said I could stay as long as I wanted." "OK, well, whatever." When we get home I go to my room to spend ten minutes in silence. When I come out Grandpa and his car are gone. When he comes back he doesn't leave his room when I'm home.
After I help Carol with figuring out dinner I headed over to Cynthia's house where I was graciously invited. She has two beautiful girls (3 and 1) who are VERY outgoing. After a delicious dinner we went outside to do sidewalk chalk, which was more like her 3 year old daughter handing me and Cynthia chalk and asking us to draw things--"Draw a dolphin. Draw Spongebob. Draw Patrick the size of me!". I was very happy to oblige when the demands were things like coming over to dinner and drawing cartoons. Much better then someone demanding me to go home, stay home or let alone.
To sum up--
Daily sanity level of house: 5 (out of 10)
Erika's daily activity away from house: Dinner at Cynthia's
Daily lesson: Bring a book on errands in case you have down time in a lobby
Monday, July 26, 2010
MONDAY, JULY 26, 2010
A few days ago Grandpa had told me all about the breakfast he made with eggs and toast, but when I had looking in the fridge no eggs were missing. Because of this I mmmhm'd through his story this morning about waking up early, going over to look at the bay and going over to Tina's to have a big breakfast. I had parked my car behind him the night before so I didn't think much of it. When I was running out the door to my interview I noticed grandpa's car parked next to mine instead of in front of it. My car was where I left it--about right up to the garage. I'm pretty sure we could tape this feat of maneuvering and send it to the DMV for a re-issue of his license.
When I got back from my interview we had a little lunch and Grandpa gave me a little trouble about his medicine-"Let's just skip that today. Has Punky [Cynthia] come around? I haven't seen her in weeks." Once I got it all explained we took our almost daily trip to the gas station down the road to get new cigarettes. "Can you get me the blue Pall Malls? The red ones or a little too strong." Carol wants to know. "Yes, fine," replies Grandpa, but when he leaves the store he has an entire package of Marlboro Red Longs. Now I'm standing in line to get Grandma's cigarettes. "What is this? You smoke?," asks Grandpa when I return to the car. "I'm thinking about it," I say.
Me and Grandpa finish our dinner and Carol is still working on hers. I'm cleaning up the kitchen as Grandpa goes to smoke. He can't find a lighter and wants Carol to lend him the one in her pocket. She's eating so she says to wait a moment. So now he's just standing over her. "It's been a moment." "Mmmmhm," she says, and continues her meal without any noticeable concern. For a couple minutes they are locked in this position--him glaring over her, and her calmly eating pork chops. I finally start laughing and grab him the lighter that's been sitting next to his chair the entire time. Classic.
In the high spirits I have been having today, I have another funny anecdote. My Grandparents are in LOVE with my cat, MauMau. He follows me around and whenever we are in the kitchen 70% of the conversation is how beautiful and nice and pretty he is. Yesterday, when Grandpa was in a grumpy mood, he wanted MauMau to come over to be petted. The problem was that MauMau has been avoiding Grandpa all day (seems like cats can pick up on anger), so he just lays on the kitchen floor by my feet while I'm doing the dishes. Finally, in frustration of trying to get the cat over to his chair, Grandpa starts sputtering about how if MauMau doesn't want to be petted then he can just go find someone else's kitchen floor to lay on. If I ever need to know that his outbursts aren't to be taken personally, this is a reminder. No man, women or beast will be allowed to step foot on Grandpa's floor unless they behave accordingly.
To sum up--
Daily sanity level of house: 9 (out of 10)--Cheese and Rice!
Erika's daily activity away from house: My interview
Daily lesson: In the face of hostility, be calm like the Mau
When I got back from my interview we had a little lunch and Grandpa gave me a little trouble about his medicine-"Let's just skip that today. Has Punky [Cynthia] come around? I haven't seen her in weeks." Once I got it all explained we took our almost daily trip to the gas station down the road to get new cigarettes. "Can you get me the blue Pall Malls? The red ones or a little too strong." Carol wants to know. "Yes, fine," replies Grandpa, but when he leaves the store he has an entire package of Marlboro Red Longs. Now I'm standing in line to get Grandma's cigarettes. "What is this? You smoke?," asks Grandpa when I return to the car. "I'm thinking about it," I say.
Me and Grandpa finish our dinner and Carol is still working on hers. I'm cleaning up the kitchen as Grandpa goes to smoke. He can't find a lighter and wants Carol to lend him the one in her pocket. She's eating so she says to wait a moment. So now he's just standing over her. "It's been a moment." "Mmmmhm," she says, and continues her meal without any noticeable concern. For a couple minutes they are locked in this position--him glaring over her, and her calmly eating pork chops. I finally start laughing and grab him the lighter that's been sitting next to his chair the entire time. Classic.
In the high spirits I have been having today, I have another funny anecdote. My Grandparents are in LOVE with my cat, MauMau. He follows me around and whenever we are in the kitchen 70% of the conversation is how beautiful and nice and pretty he is. Yesterday, when Grandpa was in a grumpy mood, he wanted MauMau to come over to be petted. The problem was that MauMau has been avoiding Grandpa all day (seems like cats can pick up on anger), so he just lays on the kitchen floor by my feet while I'm doing the dishes. Finally, in frustration of trying to get the cat over to his chair, Grandpa starts sputtering about how if MauMau doesn't want to be petted then he can just go find someone else's kitchen floor to lay on. If I ever need to know that his outbursts aren't to be taken personally, this is a reminder. No man, women or beast will be allowed to step foot on Grandpa's floor unless they behave accordingly.
To sum up--
Daily sanity level of house: 9 (out of 10)--Cheese and Rice!
Erika's daily activity away from house: My interview
Daily lesson: In the face of hostility, be calm like the Mau
Sunday, July 25, 2010
SUNDAY, JULY 25, 2010
Grandpa is in a stubborn mood today. I ask what everyone wants for breakfast and despite the fact that I've been making breakfast for the last week, he tells me he always makes breakfast and he'll do it when he's ready. I start pulling stuff out telling him I'll just get things started. To this he get's up and starts to work but sits back down, lights a cigarette and promptly forgets. I go to tend to the bacon and he remembers and shoos me out of the way. Puts some eggs on and goes to sit down, lights and cigarette and forgets. I go to make sure the bacon isn't burning and he remembers he wanted to be in charge of breakfast so he gets up and shoos me away (and so this dance continues). By the time breakfast is actually on the table, grandpa has three half smoked, lit cigarettes near his chair and one in his mouth.
Breakfast is over and everyone has taken their medicine when grandpa takes out his case of cigarette and decides he needs more. This starts a stressful chain of events where he finds he has enough money to get new packs but can't find his drivers license. Did Carol take it? No, she has hers but can't find her credit card (presumedly lost next her keys in this house). She starts doing the shallow breathing that I know means she's about to cry. I show grandpa where he left the packs of cigarettes he bought yesterday, ask him to go check his car and dresser table for his license before he starts accusing us of anything and I calm Carol down by telling her we will go to the bank tomorrow.
Grandpa goes to the pier while we go to get groceries (despite telling us it's too hot to go out earlier). He's too sullen to get groceries with us license theifs, but comes out when we get home to sit in his chair and have us bring him treats while we put away the groceries. "You could help us put away groceries, Grandpa." "I'm fine here. Are those coke's cold? Hand me one will you..."
A nice relaxing Sunday afternoon consists of relaxing in the sun and having tearful conversations with Carol that start out with "he keeps yelling at me about his license and I just can't take it." and "so James really did pass?" After Grandpa started in on me and Carol for about the tenth time today, we decided we might be grumpy because we needed to eat dinner. We heated up lo mein leftovers had some ice cream for dessert.
I've been hiding in my room ever since.
To sum up--
Daily sanity level of house: 5 (out of 10)
Erika's daily activity away from house: Hiding out on the dock
Daily lesson: When in doubt, ice cream out
Breakfast is over and everyone has taken their medicine when grandpa takes out his case of cigarette and decides he needs more. This starts a stressful chain of events where he finds he has enough money to get new packs but can't find his drivers license. Did Carol take it? No, she has hers but can't find her credit card (presumedly lost next her keys in this house). She starts doing the shallow breathing that I know means she's about to cry. I show grandpa where he left the packs of cigarettes he bought yesterday, ask him to go check his car and dresser table for his license before he starts accusing us of anything and I calm Carol down by telling her we will go to the bank tomorrow.
Grandpa goes to the pier while we go to get groceries (despite telling us it's too hot to go out earlier). He's too sullen to get groceries with us license theifs, but comes out when we get home to sit in his chair and have us bring him treats while we put away the groceries. "You could help us put away groceries, Grandpa." "I'm fine here. Are those coke's cold? Hand me one will you..."
A nice relaxing Sunday afternoon consists of relaxing in the sun and having tearful conversations with Carol that start out with "he keeps yelling at me about his license and I just can't take it." and "so James really did pass?" After Grandpa started in on me and Carol for about the tenth time today, we decided we might be grumpy because we needed to eat dinner. We heated up lo mein leftovers had some ice cream for dessert.
I've been hiding in my room ever since.
To sum up--
Daily sanity level of house: 5 (out of 10)
Erika's daily activity away from house: Hiding out on the dock
Daily lesson: When in doubt, ice cream out
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Saturday, July 24rd, 2010
I knew today was going to be a good day when I came into the kitchen and Grandpa was wearing a different shirt then the one he's been wearing since I got here. We went to the bank and to Publix and he asked me normal questions a grandfather asks his granddaughter--"Do you drink? Have a snort every once in awhile?"-- as well as typical conversation about his kids (do I know how many he has) and his grandkids (I don't want to know how many of those I have). We even discussed my stress over not having a job down here and missing my friends (mostly I talked and he told me about how he used to own a bajllion vending machines but not is happy as a clam in the house he built). We decided we would have chinese food for dinner.
A couple hours later I am taking a nap and I hear a knock on the door and tell Carol I'll be up soon. It isn't even ten minutes later when I wake up to find that Grandpa had decided to go get chinese without me. I look at the clock, it is now 3:15. When he get's back I refrain from reminding him he shouldn't be driving and ask what he got. Aparently two helpings of his favorite lo-mein which I'm not even sure I could stomach (is that chicken or fish?) even if I was ready to eat before 4. I leave before my distress gets to me.
When I get back I eat dinner and go to watch t.v. in my room (I am SICK of t.v. but I have finished the three books I brought with me to read) and I hear a knock on my door a couple hours later, it's Carol checking on me. She tells me I'm an angel and gives me a hug. Usually on Saturday I like a little more excitement, but instead I'm going to have to be content with the sanity today brought.
To sum up--
Daily sanity level of house: 7 (out of 10)
Erika's daily activity away from house: Shopping for new pants for my interview on Monday
Daily lesson: Don't nap?
A couple hours later I am taking a nap and I hear a knock on the door and tell Carol I'll be up soon. It isn't even ten minutes later when I wake up to find that Grandpa had decided to go get chinese without me. I look at the clock, it is now 3:15. When he get's back I refrain from reminding him he shouldn't be driving and ask what he got. Aparently two helpings of his favorite lo-mein which I'm not even sure I could stomach (is that chicken or fish?) even if I was ready to eat before 4. I leave before my distress gets to me.
When I get back I eat dinner and go to watch t.v. in my room (I am SICK of t.v. but I have finished the three books I brought with me to read) and I hear a knock on my door a couple hours later, it's Carol checking on me. She tells me I'm an angel and gives me a hug. Usually on Saturday I like a little more excitement, but instead I'm going to have to be content with the sanity today brought.
To sum up--
Daily sanity level of house: 7 (out of 10)
Erika's daily activity away from house: Shopping for new pants for my interview on Monday
Daily lesson: Don't nap?
Friday, July 23, 2010
Friday, July 23rd, 2010
Today started out like most mornings at around 9 as we discuss my plans for the day a few times. Grandpa sits in his chair having what I can only assume is his 4th cigarette and his 1st cup of coffee. We decide that we will wait until we are done having lunch with Cynthia later and then go out. I'll keep him company getting his hair cut and he will keep me company at the bank. After breakfast I go to my room to get ready for the day when I hear the alarming sound of the garage door opening (despite having around 3 set of keys taken from him, he somehow had located another set). I ran out into the driveway to remind him that we had plans to go together later and if he would like to go now can I please drive him. He tells me the phrase that is becoming an hourly mantra for him, "there's nothing against my license, I've been driving for about a hundred years"--and my mantra--"because of your medicine you're not supposed to be driving" and "aren't you lucky to have such a great chauffeur at your disposal?". After awhile it's obvious he's not having it and with one final exchange of words- me: "I'm going to drive you" and him "you can get the hell out out of my house if you'd like"--he's turning out of the neighborhood and I'm left to seethe, cursed with my wretched good memory.
When Grandpa arrives home Carol, me and Cynthia are sitting in the kitchen eating MacDonald's. After he finishes a cigarette he happily digs into the burger he's been given and takes his medicine. Although we are all happily chatting, he keeps asking if someone he doesn't like is coming today? "Is something wrong?" Although he can't remember our fight he is sure that something is amiss. When I leave the room he asks Carol and Cynthia, "Is she staying long? When is her mother coming back to get her." Lovely.
Every call I make today in my room is interrupted with Grandpa charging in, sure I am reporting secret spy messages over the phone. "Who are you talking to? Is it your mother? Let me talk to her." Later I take a call from my friend Krug, assure everyone it's just a friend calling to chat and even leave the door open. Soon I see Grandpa reach into the fridge in his boxers pull out my V8 from the fridge and drink without a glass. "Grandpa," I exclaim, "I drink that too!" He replies that he bought it and can do as he pleases. I remind him that I in fact bought it and he's welcome to it if he puts it in a glass. "I'll take it out of your rent" is all I hear as he goes back to his room.
Usually at about this time Carol starts getting nervous about something but instead she says that she's so glad I'm here because she feels calmer. When I remind her I apparently am not making Grandpa any calmer she replies that at least he's being nicer to her. So one good thing has come from today--Grandpa has shifted any blame to me which is fine because I have a better heart.
To sum up--
Daily sanity level of house: 4 (out of 10)--because of Carol is it possible for this average to be this high today
Erika's daily activity away from house: Yoga
Daily lesson: Keep more than one V8 in the fridge and take quick showers
When Grandpa arrives home Carol, me and Cynthia are sitting in the kitchen eating MacDonald's. After he finishes a cigarette he happily digs into the burger he's been given and takes his medicine. Although we are all happily chatting, he keeps asking if someone he doesn't like is coming today? "Is something wrong?" Although he can't remember our fight he is sure that something is amiss. When I leave the room he asks Carol and Cynthia, "Is she staying long? When is her mother coming back to get her." Lovely.
Every call I make today in my room is interrupted with Grandpa charging in, sure I am reporting secret spy messages over the phone. "Who are you talking to? Is it your mother? Let me talk to her." Later I take a call from my friend Krug, assure everyone it's just a friend calling to chat and even leave the door open. Soon I see Grandpa reach into the fridge in his boxers pull out my V8 from the fridge and drink without a glass. "Grandpa," I exclaim, "I drink that too!" He replies that he bought it and can do as he pleases. I remind him that I in fact bought it and he's welcome to it if he puts it in a glass. "I'll take it out of your rent" is all I hear as he goes back to his room.
Usually at about this time Carol starts getting nervous about something but instead she says that she's so glad I'm here because she feels calmer. When I remind her I apparently am not making Grandpa any calmer she replies that at least he's being nicer to her. So one good thing has come from today--Grandpa has shifted any blame to me which is fine because I have a better heart.
To sum up--
Daily sanity level of house: 4 (out of 10)--because of Carol is it possible for this average to be this high today
Erika's daily activity away from house: Yoga
Daily lesson: Keep more than one V8 in the fridge and take quick showers
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