THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 30, 2010

At 4am MauMau insisted that I crack the bedroom door open. At 5am I woke up with a light piercing my eyes through the wide open door from the kitchen. Carol was at the end of my bed petting MauMau. I said something like "wahtuudohngheh?" She said something like "Sweetie, I didn't understand you, what?" and I said, "I'm SLEEPING" so she left. I then proceeded to have a very odd dream for the remaining 2 hours of sleep.

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 29, 2010

Came home in the pouring rain to find Tom and Carol on the porch exclaiming how beautiful the storm was. We had a dinner of breakfast sandwiches (his choice) and cheesy potatoes and broccoli. The vegetables were the kind that you put in the microwave for ten minutes, which really wasn't a task worth doing because every minute (literally) Grandpa commented on how I was keeping it in for too long, etc. All these comments were said under a stern glare like I've never come in came in contact with a microwave before. See, here, this is a new model mi-cro-wave. Works pretty well. Don't have to put it in for that long.
Over dinner Tom had a strange fascination with Carol's jewelry. He kept continuously pointing it out, i.e. "you have 4 gold rings on...all your jewelry is gold." Good news: he could correctly identify which pieces he had given her. Bad news: He said she had 3 necklaces on which confused us until we realized he was counting bracelets as necklaces. Actually, maybe he never knew the difference?

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, 2010

In case anyone was holding their breathe (or waiting for their parents in law to show up at their doorstep in Colorado), Tom and Carol didn't go to their doctor's appointment. It was raining out and so when Cynthia showed up Carol told her they shouldn't go. Cynthia is bringing them to get blood work done Thursday and a new doctor's appointment will be set for next week.
When I got home I couldn't help but ask Carol, "did you get to your doctor's appointment today?" "There was no doctors appointment today," she replied, "there's nothing on the calender." "Really?" I say, and we go to look. "I don't know what you're talking about sweetie, there isn't anything on here. Are you feeling OK?" All I can think is that this has to be karma for calling her out. I pointed out where she scribbled out all the information about the appointment in pen, which triggered her to tell an elaborate lie about how she had called Dr Bob this morning and they had NO RECORD of any appointment ever being made. "Something really weird is going on here," she concluded. I really should have just left it be because then I could have saved myself from the overwhelming need to shake her saying "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!"
Grandpa hasn't come out of his lair since arrived home.

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 27, 2010

I was just pulling into the driveway when my friend Kathryn called, so I chatted with her on the front porch before going in. Carol heard me and opened the door to "check" it was me. Then I saw her sillouette in the window hovering for a while as I continued my conversation. When I came in Grandpa was sitting in the kitchen like he was waiting for me. I heated up some left-over tator-tot-hotdish, but Carol was no where to be found. Grandpa and I talked about my work over the food, and he asked, "did you make this?" "No, my mom did." then a few minutes later he asks, "When is Jeanne coming down, soon?"
Later on I came into the kitchen where Carol was hovering over the calendar. I took the ice cream out of the refrigerator and the ice tea off the top of the refrigerator. Typical monday. 45 minutes later when I was on the phone in my room with my mom, Carol knocked on my door, "It's Carol!" She was wondering when their doctor's appointment was tomorrow. My mom told me she remembered 10:30 or 11 so I wrote it on the calendar. I had written earlier that Cynthia was going to drive so I asked her why that was earased. She held up a pen and said she didn't have an earaser. A pencil with an earaser set close to her hand. I re-wrote that Cynthia would drive them and told her this, but she said that her and Tom were planning on going somewhere after the appointment. She said they hadn't been over to that side of PSL in awhile and they were planning on hanging out so Cynthia coming over would be unneccesary."It would be a waste of her time and money and a waste of my money," she said. I started to protest but she was getting snippy and my mom told me on the other side of the phone to not even bother. It's true, tomorrow will be an entirely different story.

JEANNE FEMRITE'S GUEST BLOG

Hi. We're sitting in the kitchen, waiting for Tator Tot hotdish to come out of the oven, just had breakfast, Tom is smoking a cig. The telephone rings....Tom answers and says "okay" and hangs up. When asked what that was he says, it was for Carol, a reminder that she had an appointment somewhere, some spot, something. She doesn't know what for. No one does. No concern on anyones part.....just another day in Paradise.
Came on Friday. got to the house about 7:00 pm. My initial take was that Tom looks worse than ever, hallow eyes, thinner (if possible). Sick. The next day I either got used to it or he was more tired than usual because he looks about the same. On Saturday morning (11:00--- he sleeps about 16 hours a day) he is surprised to see both me and Erika. Did we just come over from our house or did we sleep here? Dr. appt on Tuesday.
Carol, on the other hand looks the same and has risen to the occasion. If i didn't know she had been wearing the same clothes for three days, I'd think she was doing ok. She talks to us, is funny and charming. Goes with Erika and me to Walmart (the usual adventure), to the beach, just being one of the girls. UNTIL.......the middle in the afternoon when she wants to know who bought the lovely purse that was on the counter, did we just get it? She had bought it at Walmart about three hours earlier, brought it home and put her new stuff in it. We had spent about 1/2 hour picking out the purse and talked about it when we showed it to Tom. SOOOOOO... same thing, different day.
Erika and I did get out, ate Thai food and went to a movie. We played copious amount of rummy and talked. Good times. Come down and visit. It's good for everyone. I told Tom that BIll was going to come down and fix the boat. He seemed to think that was a good idea. So do I. I told Erika to buy Kayaks, another air purifier and a blender. If we are going to be here, we ought to be comfortable. After all "It's paid for" and Tom planted all the trees.

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 21, 2010

I'm currently waiting out the storm. It's such a weird thing to one day hand him his medicine with no comment and the next be presented with escalated fury. I swear I don't do anything different. Today (after a dinner of mac & cheese mixed with chicken and peas) I gave him his medicine, like I usually do, while he sits in his chair after dinner. "I took them this morning" he says, and I tell him that I'm pretty sure that's not true. "YES I DID!" (why are we already shouting?) I keep my voice friendly without being condescending as I show him his box of medicine perfectly separated into days. I showed him how tomorrow's had pills in it, so if he didn't take todays, then what would he do with two sets of pills tomorrow? His boney finger points to last Sunday's slot, "I took the one from here this morning." "No, I know you took that one on Sunday." "You just filled this up again." "I wasn't even here this morning," I explain, "I just think that if Dr. Bob told you to take them then you should." "You've been talking to Dr. Bob have you?" He shakes his head, "well that's just great." I am thrilled to be having this argument again this week, but I can't help it. I need to believe in my conviction that rational thought will pull this through before the season premier of Glee comes on. "I'm not talking to Dr. Bob, you told me that was the arrangement you guys had." "I'LL TAKE IT IN THE GODDAMN MORNING!" When he says this his lips actually curls up at one side, and those ice blue eyes that Ginny commented on, just look horribly cold, although I imagine everyone telling him throughout his life that they're beautiful. "I'm talking normally, aren't I Carol?" I look to Carol who nods as she wipes away non-existent crumbs on the counter. "So, why do I feel like my grandpa is going to come at me with a knife?" "You're too pushy!" He says, and I walk away before I tell him my opinion of what he is too much of. From the kitchen I hear Carol take a crack at, pleading that it for his heart. Saying she wants him to feel good and get a good nights rest. "OK Tommy?" When I came out ten minutes later, they sat quietly with her staring off into space and him drinking his coke an smoking another cigarette, the pills still untouched. So now I am writing this in hopes that it will pass enough time before I bring the pills to his room with him completely forgetting how he didn't want to take them. And, really, I'm mad that I even allowed myself to get involved in all the madness when I knew that this was what it was going to come down to.
Well, he didn't take them. Gave me the same excuse. Although didn't remember we had just had the argument.

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 20, 2010

When I got home today Carol said I looked tired. Why don't I sit down and relax? She said she has pulled a few things out for dinner. In the kitchen I find grandpa trying to figure out how to cook a frozen breakfast sausage patty while eating potato salad from the container. What we eventually arrive at is a plate (!) with a sausage sandwich with tomato, what I couldn't salvage from the salt and pepper on the potato salad and some pineapple. Carol came into the kitchen during part of this and left quickly. The past few days she has been trying very hard to be in control, and when I assert any kind of authority she either lashes out, or disappears. On Saturday she even said to me when I asked her how her day was going, "all I do is clean, cook and work." For a moment of my self involvement I was thinking, "you cook?" but then the real question arrived, "where do you work, Carol?" "At the golf course just north of here." I looked at the calendar to find that she wrote that she had to work yesterday (Sunday) and today. I'm not sure about today, but I know she didn't "go to work" yesterday. Am I missing something here?
An hour after Grandpa had finished dinner, Carol started offering me all sorts of food and mentioned seeing what Tommy wanted for dinner. She seemed confused when I told her we had already eaten. She says finally, "well, I'm going to have some potato salad. Do you want some?" and then the conversation starts over. I finally had to have another dinner in order to get her to eat a real meal. As in, "I guess I am pretty hungry. Thanks for reminding me. Ooops. I heated up too much. Do you want some? Oh, and while we're at it, this pineapple looks great, doesn't it?" It's a weird charade to pretend that she's helping me when really I'm helping her.
There's no hope for me and Cynthia being two separate identities. I thought it was just me that was confused as her, but I went to visit her at her work Saturday night, and she told me that Grandpa mistakes her for me all the time. She says most of her visit they ask her about MauMau and tell her how pretty "her"cat is. Even Carol asked her if she could turn off the fan in "her" room. The fan in my room is actually an air purifier, and I guess I should be glad someone is getting asked at least. Everyday I come home and it's off (even though I keep it on low in the morning) and sometimes things are moved. Little things, like a shirt I decided against and threw on my bed is folded. I tell her that I know it's her house, but I think I've earned the right to not have my things messed with when I'm away. I explain the air purifier keeps away the second hand smoke from the kitchen so I don't wake up coughing. "What? I never went into your room!" She'll say aghast. Then, it will happen the next day. I'm pretty sure neither MauMau or my Grandfather is folding my clothes while I'm gone, but if I had to choose the more likely, I guess I'll have to start scolding Mau.

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 16, 2010

I don't understand Carol's stews. Actually, I'm surprised she doesn't walk around like a zombie as I have found her several times this week in the kitchen past midnight smoking cigarettes/drinking my white wine/eating ice cream. When I arrived home from work I asked what she was cooking and she said left overs. I didn't really know what that meant because all that I could think of in the fridge for left overs were mashed potatoes. In a sauce pan on the stove I saw she was cooking a strange, cloudy mystery chicken stew that was about 75% onion. Enough to fit in a cup. The mashed potatoes were missing from the fridge. Without dismissing the stew I set to work creating "more" to the meal: pork chops and peas. Carol fluttered around me in need for something to contribute, and finally decided to cut up thick chunks of tomato, which were actually a great contribution. The whole time Grandpa sat on his chair acting as the peanut gallery, "What is THAT?" "There's something in the microwave I think you forgot about." "Did you see our cat? What a beauty" "Hand me a coke, will ya?" I had set the table exactly how we'd always been sitting since I got here, Carol at the end, then Grandpa, and me closest to the porch. Today Grandpa sat in my spot which had more food (because I don't eat like a 7 year old). I managed to switch the plates around before he doused my share with all that pepper and salt. "Well, what the hell is the matter with you?" he wanted to know. I thought it was a bit of an over-reaction. Grandpa started to work on the meal while I went to find Carol who had disappeared. I still have no idea where she goes, but she returned before we were half way done with our meal. After dinner I gave Grandpa his medicine, and he voiced his now almost routine response, "I'll take it in the morning." He didn't want to start tonight...? Start? I didn't push him, I know how that ends. Instead I backed off and when Carol said, "Tommy, I think your meds are next to you," and he said, "I'm going to take them in the morning," I chimed in cool and non-commital: "It seems to me that you're supposed to take those type of medicines everyday. At least that's what my doctor always tells me whenever I get a prescription." Grandpa, "Look at me. I've lived this long." Then (still calm and cool) to Carol I say, "wouldn't you think heart medication would be something you wouldn't mess around with?" I even shrugged like it was not something I really cared about either way and went back to my reading. "I'LL TAKE IT IN THE MORNING," he says. Still looking down at my book I say, "I didn't realize you had gotten a doctor's degree is all." "WELL I HAVE." Then, quietly (because I'm too much of a smart-ass to refrain myself, "Well, I guess I missed that in your bio."
I had cleaned up all the dinner except Carol's stew, which she insisted need to simmer some more. She went to the front porch to have a cigarette, when her stew met it's inevitable demise. My grandfather, who never cleans his own dishes, must of felt the need to contribute to the cleaning up and with a loss for ideas poured the stew down the disposal. He then looked at me pointedly and turned around to go his room, leaving the stove top still on.
I had a chat with my father about what to do about the Tom-Meds issue which calmed me enough to give it another go. Sure enough, I walked into his room where he was watching Wheel of Fortune (in white boxers. who sold these to him? does this man not own pajama pants?) and gave him his medicine. No fight at all. Then, just because this was too easy, I went to check that Carol had taken her meds. Sure enough, she hadn't. I brought them out to the kitchen and showed her how all of the Thursday medicine slots were full and how the patch marked 9/16 was not used. I thought this was stellar logic, but she had logic of her own, "sweetie, the calendar says I already took my medicine." Fair enough. I told her I was 100% sure she hadn't based on the evidence, and all the days were running together this week for me too, so I can understand if she accidentally marked that she had on the calendar.
In other news, I'm getting more optimistic about my homesickness with Ross just down here, Joel and Co. moving down, Bill visiting on the 8th, Mom possibly visiting over MEA, Logan possibly visiting of Halloween and halfway to Thanksgiving. I'm starting not to get the desperate need to run up to strangers at the grocery store offering hugs and/or pleads, "will you be my friend?"

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 12, 2010

When I woke up this morning at 9 no one was up. When I headed out the door at 10:30, Carol was doing her usual make coffee-smoke a couple cigarettes routine. Tom was no where to be found. When I got home at 2:30 Carol was still in her pajama robe and Grandpa was missing, although she said he had be up and about today. I went to my room to work on some stuff for work. At 5ish I starting on dinner and Carol was standing staring off into space in the kitchen. I asked her if she was OK, and she said she didn't think so. We chatted about my day and MauMau for awhile while I made chicken, mashed potatoes and green beans. Grandpa came out and we all sat down to dinner and he starting asking me his questions, i.e. "Do you come everyday?" ("yes, I've been living here for 2 months) and then "So do you usually go home for dinner?" ("I, um? My home is in Minneapolis where my mom, Jeanne Femrite, lives"), "That's my daughter" ("That's my mom, which makes you my Grandfather"). Grandpa finished half his meal and then got up to find something to put it in. He stood at the cabinet for awhile and turned away from his mission. Then he went to the fridge, poured some milk into a coffee mug that was inexplicably sitting in the fridge, and took out the corn muffins. "Wait, Tommy, wait a second," said Carol, and I thought she was going to tell him to finish the meal still sitting on the table if he was still hungry, but instead she got him another plate for his corn muffin. I don't know. I starting cleaning up and Carol told me all about my Great Grandpa Slick and the prohibition. I've heard about him, but this was a good conversation because it seemed like a normal conversation that you would have with your Granddaughter, minus the gambling and boozing. Of course, Grandpa kept interrupting to tell us every time MauMau switched his position- "Now look at this, he wants his pets... do you see this now?... Do you think he wants to go outside?" My cat is the source of most of our conversations... the good one at least. Grandpa got up from his chair and put his mug of milk that was originally in the fridge, into the cabinet (milk still in it). I asked him to wait a second to go in because he hadn't had his medicine. He looked at the pills and realized that there were 6 pills there instead of 5 (we added the anti-depression medicine a few weeks ago, although I don't see a difference). I told him the 6th pill was a vitamin he and Dr Bob decided on a few weeks ago to make the other pills easier on his stomach (such a liar). He went and sat down for a while longer, and must have decided against the pills because when he got up and went in, they were still there. So, of course I had to bring them in to him. Otherwise, I've just been cleaning and doing laundry today. Productive, calm Sunday.

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 9, 2010

The Internet at my work was down so I ended up coming home early. The first 3 questions Grandpa asked me were, "You're a little late aren't you?" "You usually come earlier, don't you?" and "Isn't our cat pretty?" I made pot roast (or at least microwaved it), corn and mashed potatoes for us three, but Carol wasn't feeling well, which of course just means she doesn't want to eat dinner and have to explain that to me. I wrapped her plate up and put it in the fridge for later.
So, Grandpa and I sat down to a beautiful meal. I knew today was going to be a little less normal by the previous questions, but I was not prepared for when he decided to put his coke over his mashed potatoes. He immediately realized he had made a mistake, and said, "Oh, hell," but I pretended not to notice so he pretended he didn't do it. "How's it tasting?" I couldn't refrain from asking after ten minutes. "Tastes good." He didn't finish the meal, said he was full, asked me if I wanted the rest of his. "That's OK, you put a little more pepper on your food than I prefer, thank you though." "THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT." "It's fine. I had my share anyway."
After the meal, and discretely disposing the remainder of the coke roast, I went to the store real quick. When I walked back into the kitchen, there was Grandpa propped up at the counter with his salt and pepper, dipping a doughnut into potato salad. I didn't utter a word to this either. I just got his medicine for him and set to work refilling their medicine dispensers. Then the argument we have about every 2 weeks started. Calmly at first, of course, "I'm not going to take these tonight. I'll start tomorrow," he'll say. "It's been 24 hours since you took it. Dr Bob said you're supposed to take it everyday," I reply. "Oh, you're talking to Dr. Bob?" "No, but it's the arrangement that you have with him to stay healthy. You're my only Grandparent and I want you to stick around for awhile." "I'm not your grandparent." "Well, if you're Jeanne's dad, and I'm her daughter, then you're my grandfather." He thinks about this for a minute and I actually think my head is going to explode. "Yea, she sounds familiar." Then we sit in silence for awhile as I contemplate my next move. I have a good chance of him not remembering what we were just arguing about, so I have a chance to have a better outcome. "I think your medicine is next to you to take," I start. "Um, no, I think I'll wait for tomorrow to take it." Damn. "Well, Dr Bob said you're supposed to take it every 24 hours and it's been 24 hours." " I haven't taken any medicine in 5 days- it's not a big deal." "Dr. Bob wouldn't prescribe you a medicine if it wasn't a big deal." "Well Dr Bob isn't a real doctor." What?!? "I'm not sure he could write prescriptions if he wasn't a doctor. I'M not a doctor, I'm just a concerned Granddaughter. I want you to stay healthy." Yes, I did use the same line I give Carol. "You're not my granddaughter!" "Um, yes, I am?! and I would really appreciate it if my grandfather kept himself healthy." "Yea, like you care," he counters. "I do care. Otherwise I wouldn't be here." "THEN YOU CAN JUST LEAVE." "FINE, MAYBE I WILL!" Fantastic, Erika. Way to not take things personally.
I call my mother and put her on the phone with him then go seek out Carol to refill her medicine. Where I find that she has not actually taken her medicine today either. I inform her of this, but she goes and gets the calendar that says she has taken it. She says she's very good at it and never misses. I explain that I know she's good at it. That's why I know she missed today because we keep such good track of it and never miss a day. She's still showing me the calendar and reminding me that it is a 24 hour patch so if we did it this morning then we don't have to do it now. I grab a glass of water, put it in her hand, put pills in front of her and maneuver a new patch on her. I'm not arguing with anyone else about medicine.
In the kitchen I see my phone next to the shot glass of un-taken pills. I re-phone my mother who was left waiting for me on the line. The scoop was that he had agreed to take the pills but told her he couldn't find them. I get him a glass for his water in the cabinet and find his glass of milk he had earlier there, too. I keep her on the phone as I go into the lion's den. Here he takes the pills and the water easily... and now I sort of feel like I just explained a bizarre dream I just had. This is why tonight's blog is going to end with-...and then I woke up.

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 7, 2010

Friday night my brother and I went to Fort Pierce for "Friday Fest," which is apparently put on the first Friday of every month. We walked around for awhile, me looking for a baked good that would make missing the state fair OK (not found), and Ross contemplating the reaction he would get if he wore an Affliction style shirt with a huge image of Jesus's face on it to Thanksgiving dinner (decision will be revealed on November 25Th). Then we sat outside of Tiki Bar watching the fishing boats and festival crowd go by. When we left we also caught a little bit of the live band playing awesome 90's music--Beastie Boys anyone? I pulled Ross away to go to the bar that everyone has told me to go to, Mother Truckers. A sand bar with another live band, this one playing music like "Brown Eyed Girl". Of course, I did get a little lost on the way and we ended up at a biker bar with a live band playing 70's music for a little while before we got to our final destination.
The next day started with cinnamon rolls and a trip to the beach. A random guy in the lobby of my work last week started chatting to me about how killer the waves were going to be, and he was right. Even the main beach in Jensen was covered in surfers and skim borders. There was some sort of charity event going on where they were teaching people how to surf for free. We were going to go, but somehow it never happened. Relaxing and spending time in the waves was just perfect enough. Later on we went to get Smokey's BBQ, then when we got home Ross ate a little bit more with the Grandparents. For the night we tried to go to a club someone at the Humane Society recommended, but it was OBVIOUSLY a mistake. The bouncers outside the bar checked my purse as they patted Ross down for weapons. When we got in we saw that there were ten people in there, AND they wanted cover--5 dollars for me and 10 for him (early arrival discount). We left and went to an Irish Pub down the street that had (surprise!) live music. This time it was a girl lead singer that sang Cranberries and definitely pulled it off (hard thing to do).
Sunday was a rainy, movie day. Grandpa and Grandma behaved themselves. Grandpa didn't walk around in his boxers and Carol even made a stew(?) with left overs that I didn't even realize were in the fridge. Since none of the recipe could be distinguished from any meal I've eaten here, Ross went out and got us Mexican from Moe's. We ended the night playing Rummy 500, and Rosa's little sister beating him by over 100 points both games.
When we left for the airport yesterday morning at ten Carol was in her nightgown starting coffee and having her 2nd cigarette of the day. Grandpa was not up yet. Luckily we had a long car ride to the airport, so I could see Ross's amazing dance moves. If you haven't seen them, I encourage you to put on some Katy Perry, and step back. If what it looked like sitting down was that outstanding, I can't imagine how it looks in full.
I made it through a rain storm that debilitated me down to 40mph, only to find that I was alone with the grandparents again. My first order of business was cleaning out the fridge and that stew. After one particularly large/loud batch through the garbage disposal, Grandpa started fussing at me. I told him he could clean out the fridge if he'd like. He told me that that was fine, he would. I said, "Really, because left-over dinner I made for you 2 weeks ago just went down the disposal." We glared at each other. Home Sweet Home.
Today I bought groceries and when I got home I got the usual slack for buying too much. I joked that Ross ate everything out of our fridge. "When is Ross coming?" Grandpa wanted to know. Then (instead of putting each prescription in to the computer operator) I went to the Walmart Pharmacy to drop off the Grandparents' prescription for this month. When I got back, 5 doughnuts were already missing. I pointed this out to Carol as proof that I have to buy all that food I buy, but she told me that doughnuts aren't food, they're delicious happiness. Remember that.

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 3, 2010

Happy September! Ross got in yesterday at 5pm. I got out of work early to drive the hour and half to Orlando to get him. I'm shocked we even found each other in the whirl-wind of families trying to see Mickey and go to Epcot. A lady who sat next to him on the plane asked him if we were going to Disneyland. We decided to skip that adventure and just head back to the Grandparents'. "Ross Tomas" appeared to have made it OK while I was at work, although Carol has been hiding from him and Grandpa keeps commenting on him constantly staring into "that box" which is more commonly known as my computer, although when I first got it I was so excited I gave it pet names. I got home from work early (I've done well and deserve to leave early, according to my boss) and Ross and I decided to get stuff to Grill burgers. Grandpa isn't too sure about us using the grill when it's hot out, but he ate his half a burger happily. Carol didn't eat with us, she ate in her room. I think she's scared or Ross. Now me and Ross are heading to Fort Pierce. Super excited.