I'm currently waiting out the storm. It's such a weird thing to one day hand him his medicine with no comment and the next be presented with escalated fury. I swear I don't do anything different. Today (after a dinner of mac & cheese mixed with chicken and peas) I gave him his medicine, like I usually do, while he sits in his chair after dinner. "I took them this morning" he says, and I tell him that I'm pretty sure that's not true. "YES I DID!" (why are we already shouting?) I keep my voice friendly without being condescending as I show him his box of medicine perfectly separated into days. I showed him how tomorrow's had pills in it, so if he didn't take todays, then what would he do with two sets of pills tomorrow? His boney finger points to last Sunday's slot, "I took the one from here this morning." "No, I know you took that one on Sunday." "You just filled this up again." "I wasn't even here this morning," I explain, "I just think that if Dr. Bob told you to take them then you should." "You've been talking to Dr. Bob have you?" He shakes his head, "well that's just great." I am thrilled to be having this argument again this week, but I can't help it. I need to believe in my conviction that rational thought will pull this through before the season premier of Glee comes on. "I'm not talking to Dr. Bob, you told me that was the arrangement you guys had." "I'LL TAKE IT IN THE GODDAMN MORNING!" When he says this his lips actually curls up at one side, and those ice blue eyes that Ginny commented on, just look horribly cold, although I imagine everyone telling him throughout his life that they're beautiful. "I'm talking normally, aren't I Carol?" I look to Carol who nods as she wipes away non-existent crumbs on the counter. "So, why do I feel like my grandpa is going to come at me with a knife?" "You're too pushy!" He says, and I walk away before I tell him my opinion of what he is too much of. From the kitchen I hear Carol take a crack at, pleading that it for his heart. Saying she wants him to feel good and get a good nights rest. "OK Tommy?" When I came out ten minutes later, they sat quietly with her staring off into space and him drinking his coke an smoking another cigarette, the pills still untouched. So now I am writing this in hopes that it will pass enough time before I bring the pills to his room with him completely forgetting how he didn't want to take them. And, really, I'm mad that I even allowed myself to get involved in all the madness when I knew that this was what it was going to come down to.
Well, he didn't take them. Gave me the same excuse. Although didn't remember we had just had the argument.
The third time I tried I was told he would take them in the morning because he was trying to get on a schedule of taking them in the morning (notice the different from the first two time). He started the intimidation stuff: getting in my face, telling me I "obviously didn't understand a lot of things", telling me I'm not related to him. When I went to get my phone to put Bill on with him, the door to their room was suddenly closed. Documentation: Grandpa did not take his medication today for the first time since I arrived here and there didn't seem to be anything I could do about it.
ReplyDeleteCan we just put the F***ing pills in the Potato Salad! and pour some Coke on it for taste...
ReplyDeleteSeriously, can we put them in his drink or food, you know like you would do for a child?
Be careful with him Erika. Don't go too far. In the end he is only hurting himself. That is not meant as comfort, but there is only so much that can be done.
That wouldn't work because no matter how much food I give him, he never finishes it, then he offers it to me and Carol. Today when I just gave him his pills he said, "I told you I would do it in the morning." and held my eye's pointedly. I told him that he told me that yesterday and he now hadn't taken them yesterday or today. He went to say something, but only got as far as "I'll take them..." before he paused, confused as to what he was going to counter with. I took this moment to say, "You'll take them? good!" Then I rushed away from him. When I looked back it had somehow worked. I was sure I would turn around to find him hiding them somewhere, but nope. Now, I will be hiding in my room for the remainder of the evening.
ReplyDeleteHeh... you took the words out of my mouth about why it wouldn't work.
ReplyDeleteI am glad to hear he co-operated a little eaier/better tonight.
Maybe your mother will be able to convince him to get with the program a little more. I am hopeful that will be the case, but not counting on it.