Today was going smoothly until dinner. Carol came in to the kitchen to say that she can't find her keys. I am so cool. I walk over to the container we put it in yesterday (Remember with the note that had the word "EMERGENCY" in all caps) and proudly lift up the cover to find... nothing. It's gone. We get to work tearing up the place. Grandpa comes around asking what we are doing. I don't want him yelling at her about it because he does EVERY DAY. So, I say, "please don't worry about it. We will be in the kitchen soon." He says, "No, tell me what you're looking for." Carol says through breathless sobs "MY KEYS!" So, Grandpa starts in, "Oh, Jesus. You know she does this all the time. She did this with MY keys." I am utterly exasperated, "Don't worry about it. Can you go back into the kitchen?" And, him, "This is MY house. You can get the hell out of it. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" I am seething too much to say anything else. Carol and I continue looking for a couple minutes more until I convince her it's not worth looking for when we are so frustrated. "This is just AWFUL," she says, "I'm so SORRY." "Not having your keys is not the end of the world. We should just go eat dinner." I put dinner on the table and go to find Grandpa. He is in the garage, standing up balancing on two chairs. "Dinner is ready," and then when it occurs to me that I should be concerned that a 78 year old man who has had knee surgery is standing half-hazerdly I add, "what are you doing?" "I'm trying to find those GOD DAMN KEYS, is what I'm doing." Great. They sit down to a dinner of two as I am writing a note. Carol, "Are you eating dinner?" "No, I'm not hungry." Grandpa asks if I'm leaving (yes), for good he wonders (no), but to this Carol starts crying again. Grandpa puts his hand on hers to comfort her and I have a moment of defensiveness towards her. Isn't he the reason having her keys is such a big deal? Wasn't I only trying to help her? I hand over the note that I had written for him, "Don't tell your granddaughter to leave because when you yell at her it hurts her feelings 8.5.10". I know logically this is a dumb thing to write, but I want to make my feeling more physical. I leave and promise Carol I'll be back tonight.
When I get back after reading an entire book in Borders and going to a movie, Carol comes out. she wants me to know she found her keys, but I tell her I was never mad about her keys. That I was never mad at her. She says she has to go to bed, but she wanted to make sure I got home OK. Great, she stayed up for me (she says it's the mother in her). I give her a hug and thank her for being worried.
To sum up--
Daily sanity level of house: 3 (out of 10)
Erika's daily activity away from house: Borders and a movie
Daily lesson: breathe in breathe out
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