THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 30, 2010

At 4am MauMau insisted that I crack the bedroom door open. At 5am I woke up with a light piercing my eyes through the wide open door from the kitchen. Carol was at the end of my bed petting MauMau. I said something like "wahtuudohngheh?" She said something like "Sweetie, I didn't understand you, what?" and I said, "I'm SLEEPING" so she left. I then proceeded to have a very odd dream for the remaining 2 hours of sleep.

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 29, 2010

Came home in the pouring rain to find Tom and Carol on the porch exclaiming how beautiful the storm was. We had a dinner of breakfast sandwiches (his choice) and cheesy potatoes and broccoli. The vegetables were the kind that you put in the microwave for ten minutes, which really wasn't a task worth doing because every minute (literally) Grandpa commented on how I was keeping it in for too long, etc. All these comments were said under a stern glare like I've never come in came in contact with a microwave before. See, here, this is a new model mi-cro-wave. Works pretty well. Don't have to put it in for that long.
Over dinner Tom had a strange fascination with Carol's jewelry. He kept continuously pointing it out, i.e. "you have 4 gold rings on...all your jewelry is gold." Good news: he could correctly identify which pieces he had given her. Bad news: He said she had 3 necklaces on which confused us until we realized he was counting bracelets as necklaces. Actually, maybe he never knew the difference?

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, 2010

In case anyone was holding their breathe (or waiting for their parents in law to show up at their doorstep in Colorado), Tom and Carol didn't go to their doctor's appointment. It was raining out and so when Cynthia showed up Carol told her they shouldn't go. Cynthia is bringing them to get blood work done Thursday and a new doctor's appointment will be set for next week.
When I got home I couldn't help but ask Carol, "did you get to your doctor's appointment today?" "There was no doctors appointment today," she replied, "there's nothing on the calender." "Really?" I say, and we go to look. "I don't know what you're talking about sweetie, there isn't anything on here. Are you feeling OK?" All I can think is that this has to be karma for calling her out. I pointed out where she scribbled out all the information about the appointment in pen, which triggered her to tell an elaborate lie about how she had called Dr Bob this morning and they had NO RECORD of any appointment ever being made. "Something really weird is going on here," she concluded. I really should have just left it be because then I could have saved myself from the overwhelming need to shake her saying "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!"
Grandpa hasn't come out of his lair since arrived home.

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 27, 2010

I was just pulling into the driveway when my friend Kathryn called, so I chatted with her on the front porch before going in. Carol heard me and opened the door to "check" it was me. Then I saw her sillouette in the window hovering for a while as I continued my conversation. When I came in Grandpa was sitting in the kitchen like he was waiting for me. I heated up some left-over tator-tot-hotdish, but Carol was no where to be found. Grandpa and I talked about my work over the food, and he asked, "did you make this?" "No, my mom did." then a few minutes later he asks, "When is Jeanne coming down, soon?"
Later on I came into the kitchen where Carol was hovering over the calendar. I took the ice cream out of the refrigerator and the ice tea off the top of the refrigerator. Typical monday. 45 minutes later when I was on the phone in my room with my mom, Carol knocked on my door, "It's Carol!" She was wondering when their doctor's appointment was tomorrow. My mom told me she remembered 10:30 or 11 so I wrote it on the calendar. I had written earlier that Cynthia was going to drive so I asked her why that was earased. She held up a pen and said she didn't have an earaser. A pencil with an earaser set close to her hand. I re-wrote that Cynthia would drive them and told her this, but she said that her and Tom were planning on going somewhere after the appointment. She said they hadn't been over to that side of PSL in awhile and they were planning on hanging out so Cynthia coming over would be unneccesary."It would be a waste of her time and money and a waste of my money," she said. I started to protest but she was getting snippy and my mom told me on the other side of the phone to not even bother. It's true, tomorrow will be an entirely different story.

JEANNE FEMRITE'S GUEST BLOG

Hi. We're sitting in the kitchen, waiting for Tator Tot hotdish to come out of the oven, just had breakfast, Tom is smoking a cig. The telephone rings....Tom answers and says "okay" and hangs up. When asked what that was he says, it was for Carol, a reminder that she had an appointment somewhere, some spot, something. She doesn't know what for. No one does. No concern on anyones part.....just another day in Paradise.
Came on Friday. got to the house about 7:00 pm. My initial take was that Tom looks worse than ever, hallow eyes, thinner (if possible). Sick. The next day I either got used to it or he was more tired than usual because he looks about the same. On Saturday morning (11:00--- he sleeps about 16 hours a day) he is surprised to see both me and Erika. Did we just come over from our house or did we sleep here? Dr. appt on Tuesday.
Carol, on the other hand looks the same and has risen to the occasion. If i didn't know she had been wearing the same clothes for three days, I'd think she was doing ok. She talks to us, is funny and charming. Goes with Erika and me to Walmart (the usual adventure), to the beach, just being one of the girls. UNTIL.......the middle in the afternoon when she wants to know who bought the lovely purse that was on the counter, did we just get it? She had bought it at Walmart about three hours earlier, brought it home and put her new stuff in it. We had spent about 1/2 hour picking out the purse and talked about it when we showed it to Tom. SOOOOOO... same thing, different day.
Erika and I did get out, ate Thai food and went to a movie. We played copious amount of rummy and talked. Good times. Come down and visit. It's good for everyone. I told Tom that BIll was going to come down and fix the boat. He seemed to think that was a good idea. So do I. I told Erika to buy Kayaks, another air purifier and a blender. If we are going to be here, we ought to be comfortable. After all "It's paid for" and Tom planted all the trees.

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 21, 2010

I'm currently waiting out the storm. It's such a weird thing to one day hand him his medicine with no comment and the next be presented with escalated fury. I swear I don't do anything different. Today (after a dinner of mac & cheese mixed with chicken and peas) I gave him his medicine, like I usually do, while he sits in his chair after dinner. "I took them this morning" he says, and I tell him that I'm pretty sure that's not true. "YES I DID!" (why are we already shouting?) I keep my voice friendly without being condescending as I show him his box of medicine perfectly separated into days. I showed him how tomorrow's had pills in it, so if he didn't take todays, then what would he do with two sets of pills tomorrow? His boney finger points to last Sunday's slot, "I took the one from here this morning." "No, I know you took that one on Sunday." "You just filled this up again." "I wasn't even here this morning," I explain, "I just think that if Dr. Bob told you to take them then you should." "You've been talking to Dr. Bob have you?" He shakes his head, "well that's just great." I am thrilled to be having this argument again this week, but I can't help it. I need to believe in my conviction that rational thought will pull this through before the season premier of Glee comes on. "I'm not talking to Dr. Bob, you told me that was the arrangement you guys had." "I'LL TAKE IT IN THE GODDAMN MORNING!" When he says this his lips actually curls up at one side, and those ice blue eyes that Ginny commented on, just look horribly cold, although I imagine everyone telling him throughout his life that they're beautiful. "I'm talking normally, aren't I Carol?" I look to Carol who nods as she wipes away non-existent crumbs on the counter. "So, why do I feel like my grandpa is going to come at me with a knife?" "You're too pushy!" He says, and I walk away before I tell him my opinion of what he is too much of. From the kitchen I hear Carol take a crack at, pleading that it for his heart. Saying she wants him to feel good and get a good nights rest. "OK Tommy?" When I came out ten minutes later, they sat quietly with her staring off into space and him drinking his coke an smoking another cigarette, the pills still untouched. So now I am writing this in hopes that it will pass enough time before I bring the pills to his room with him completely forgetting how he didn't want to take them. And, really, I'm mad that I even allowed myself to get involved in all the madness when I knew that this was what it was going to come down to.
Well, he didn't take them. Gave me the same excuse. Although didn't remember we had just had the argument.

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 20, 2010

When I got home today Carol said I looked tired. Why don't I sit down and relax? She said she has pulled a few things out for dinner. In the kitchen I find grandpa trying to figure out how to cook a frozen breakfast sausage patty while eating potato salad from the container. What we eventually arrive at is a plate (!) with a sausage sandwich with tomato, what I couldn't salvage from the salt and pepper on the potato salad and some pineapple. Carol came into the kitchen during part of this and left quickly. The past few days she has been trying very hard to be in control, and when I assert any kind of authority she either lashes out, or disappears. On Saturday she even said to me when I asked her how her day was going, "all I do is clean, cook and work." For a moment of my self involvement I was thinking, "you cook?" but then the real question arrived, "where do you work, Carol?" "At the golf course just north of here." I looked at the calendar to find that she wrote that she had to work yesterday (Sunday) and today. I'm not sure about today, but I know she didn't "go to work" yesterday. Am I missing something here?
An hour after Grandpa had finished dinner, Carol started offering me all sorts of food and mentioned seeing what Tommy wanted for dinner. She seemed confused when I told her we had already eaten. She says finally, "well, I'm going to have some potato salad. Do you want some?" and then the conversation starts over. I finally had to have another dinner in order to get her to eat a real meal. As in, "I guess I am pretty hungry. Thanks for reminding me. Ooops. I heated up too much. Do you want some? Oh, and while we're at it, this pineapple looks great, doesn't it?" It's a weird charade to pretend that she's helping me when really I'm helping her.
There's no hope for me and Cynthia being two separate identities. I thought it was just me that was confused as her, but I went to visit her at her work Saturday night, and she told me that Grandpa mistakes her for me all the time. She says most of her visit they ask her about MauMau and tell her how pretty "her"cat is. Even Carol asked her if she could turn off the fan in "her" room. The fan in my room is actually an air purifier, and I guess I should be glad someone is getting asked at least. Everyday I come home and it's off (even though I keep it on low in the morning) and sometimes things are moved. Little things, like a shirt I decided against and threw on my bed is folded. I tell her that I know it's her house, but I think I've earned the right to not have my things messed with when I'm away. I explain the air purifier keeps away the second hand smoke from the kitchen so I don't wake up coughing. "What? I never went into your room!" She'll say aghast. Then, it will happen the next day. I'm pretty sure neither MauMau or my Grandfather is folding my clothes while I'm gone, but if I had to choose the more likely, I guess I'll have to start scolding Mau.