MONDAY, OCTOBER 18, 2010

Grandpa was upset about his car and saying someone "stole it," then talking to my mom, calming down, then getting worked up again for pretty much the whole weekend straight. On Saturday I decided I had had enough and went to visit Joel and his family on the gulf coast (3 hours away) for the night. I got Tom and Carol fed a big lunch and got their medicine in them, packed a bag and walked out the door as Grandpa continued to shout at me.
Going to visit Joel's family was just what I needed. Their new home is nice and open with a pool screened in the back, and located in good location between cities and the beach. I went from being told to get out of Tom's home and missing hugs, to feeling like I belonged, could relax and barely had a moment where the kids weren't giving tons of affection. A big breakfast on Sunday and we were off to Manesota (like Minnesota!) Beach. But, later on Sunday I had to go home to make sure the Grandparents had eaten all day and had taken their medicine, so I headed home reluctantly.
I knew Grandpa hadn't calmed down when Bill told me that he had been calling him all day. I walked into the house through the back door because I had been locked out of the screen entrance in the front. Grandpa was on the phone with my mom talking about his car, and Carol asked me, "Where did you come from?" So, I told her that the front screen door was locked, and can she please try not to do that anymore. I swear I didn't say this in a mean way, but she started crying and saying that she didn't mean it. She must have been yelled at a lot since I left. I calmed her down telling her that I knew she didn't mean to and it wasn't a big deal.
Back to Grandpa, Kenny and my mom had decided to lie and tell him that it would cost $2,500 to fix. After showing him a map of where his car was on the computer, and more answers from my mom, they decided it would be best if they had it towed (unfixed) back to the house, and wait until Bill came down to try and fix it for cheaper. I wrote him a letter explaining all this, and even drew a little map of where his car is. He said thank you for doing all that, and seemed generally calmed down. I took this time to start getting ready for bed. Right when I'm about to fall asleep, Carol knocks on the door saying I needed to answer some questions Grandpa has. So, we stood in their bedroom with him in his boxers as I continuously explained the situation with his car. Finally I located the note I had written him and read it to him. I told Carol I had to go to bed because I had to work the next morning and she said she could understand because she had to as well (she had even written PGA on the calendar). I told her that she was just going to have to keep referring him back to that note, and fell asleep exhausted.
At about 3am I heard a forceful knock on my bedroom door. So I groggily said, "What?" to which the reply was "it's the police" WHAT?! I came out and he explained that Grandpa had hit Carol (was very vague) and referred me to some pamphlets on domestics abuse that had been placed on the counter. He said that they had to hold my Grandpa for awhile, but decided to take him to a mental health facility instead of jail. They had also debated for about 20 minutes deciding if they should take Carol to the hospital or not, but since she was still breathing heavily after all that time, they decided it was for the best. Yes, I slept through all of this. The police officer was the very last one to leave and was going to lock up the house, but noticed my door shut and decided to "make sure".
So I get to the right hospital and find my way to Carol who looks incredibly small in all the hospital blankets. I talk to the doctor, I put my mom on the phone with the doctor, and a few nurses gush at how sweet my grandma is. Since she left the house without her shoes, purse and only in her night robe, we walk out of the hospital with her wrapped in hospital blankets and shuffling in hospital socks. The nurses assure me she doesn't have these things, but she keeps asking where they are, even at one point telling me that we should find Tom in the hospital because he probably has her stuff. I tell her that Tom isn't in the same hospital and she peers at me confused. I get her home at a little before 5AM and explain the importance of getting some rest. I'm shocked she doesn't go straight to bed with all the relaxers they gave her. She knocks on my door within ten minutes and shows me her cell phone and her necklace which she thinks one of the police officers left at the house, adding that we should "put it somewhere where the kids can't get to it." I walk her to her room and tell her we will figure it out in the morning.
I went to work this morning, and when I get home at 3pm to check on her, she's still sleeping. When she wakes up we have some food and the doctor in charge of Tom calls to hear what happens. I find myself reminding her of things to tell the person because she starts out being like, "Oh, he was stressed this week...he gave me a kind of hurtful love push..." Then I get on the phone with the doctor to explain Tom's behavior since I've lived here, and give her my mom's number who she also talked to. She seemed like she was really understanding and helpful. Even explaining that it is common for people who are losing control to act out in these ways.
Otherwise, my mom is coming into town tonight (I leave for Palm Beach in about an hour) and Carol is kind of lost still. When I went to the bank and came home she asked me where Tom was. I reminded her that he is going to be gone for a few days and we need to concentrate on her being healthy and SAFE. She says it's too quite and keeps saying how it's a good think MauMau is around so it's not so lonely. Hopefully having my mom around will liven the house up some.
She just came in and asked where Grandpa is again. She says she really wants to make sure he's OK. We went from an angry house to a very sad house.