Guest Post from Mom
I thought I'd give Erika a break and post a blog. I got to Florida on Monday night. Tuesday seems so long ago but I drove to the other side of Florida to get my brother Joel so we could make decisions together with Carol. What seemed obvious to me and maybe anyone reading this blog, is that my Dad can no longer be taken care of in his home. Kind words and patience, which Carol had more of than most of us, cannot keep him from being frustrated and confused, irritable and frightening. Fortunately, I think, the hospital and his doctors agree. I hope our family does too.
They gave us a list of places to look at and while Carol and Joel went to visit a couple of them on Wednesday, I rummaged through the pile of bills, flyer's and notes that were on Carol's desk to see what, besides the water bill, I had missed since she just stacks them and doesn't let anyone see them. I looked on the desk, in the desk, under the desk and under her pillow (where we last found her car keys). Each advertisement for a pizza joint was just as lovingly attended to as the final notice for payment of "HOUSE INSURANCE". Just one of the many details to attend to this week.
Joel and Carol came back from there trip just as Erika and I got back from a seminar about how to apply for aid and assistance benefits from the veterans administration. They are depressed about the homes they visited but Erika and I were pretty pumped up about the number of euphemism that one man could use when talking about the needs of our "loved ones". We all had a little wine which seemed to help. That and that fact that we got a new list of places to visit.

Joel and I went a visiting on Thursday and found two places that we thought were pretty good. Of course I liked one and Joel liked the other better. Now we wait so they can interview Tom and see if they think he will fit into their establishment. Joel goes home and Carol and I go shopping for food. Do you know how many kinds of cookies there are in Publix? I do now. Toll House are the preferred favorite. Erika and I go shopping for baby presents and little girl birthday presents---- spent too much money. I think because it felt so good to do something life affirming.

Friday Carol and I went to both the homes that Joel and I had agreed were ok. She sided with Joel and both places were willing to take Tom. So we are signing him up for a lovely place where he can see the ocean from his room. He can't move in until Saturday so that will give us some time to furnish the place. I went to the lawyer on Friday afternoon after taking Carol home. Now all I have to do is find more documents, including a marriage certificate for Tom and MY Mom which should be interesting since I can't ask her and she eloped AND I don't know when exactly or where exactly they were married. The veterans administration certainly knows how to keep their money by making it difficult for you to access. Here's my advice to anyone ------ Preplan for your own demise and do not make your children and "loved ones" hunt for documents under your bed.

Today we (Carol and I) bought Tom a bed and have begun discussing what of his things we should take to his new place. He looks terribly frail and right now it would be hard to believe that he could frighten anyone. Carol is handling it with far more grace than I could hope for but we are helping her to put her husband in a home-- one he's not going to come out of. It's #$&^ing sad.

Good news, John is coming on Monday so we can tag team and Erika and Carol will have some help getting Dad settled. I will go home on Monday to my "real job".